Have not BLOG for some time now...

Here I am blogging again.

Well, this time, I am sad, I just don't know where to put what's in my heart.

There goes the story, WE started with nothing, then WE slowly build OUR things up. From zero then there comes the TURTLES, RINGS, 3D PUZZLES, CUP, FB STATUS, and all time SMS. After a year, slowly, everything is reducing. I have got back the ring, the turtles that is suppose to be on my handphone is now in my car, which isn't something bad. I am having the cup back as no place to keep, the puzzles, I am having the couple puzzles with me already now, still, the LOVE LETTER and BOOKMARK is kept in there nicely.

Some more, the FB status is not there anymore, and even now lesser SMS is requested. Seem like this ONE YEAR has bring a huge difference and effects. What I can say is that I am not good in maintaining.

As days goes by, things I do it my way will be the wrong way. Things I think should be worrying about is something that shows I am a very immature person. Well, I am immature, that might be true, but I am not really that bad, at least I could live for 24 years.

At the end, I am just sad about the growing of US, its making me worry now. I wish I could improve something here about US. But whatever I do is just not helping. Whatever I think of doing for YOU is wrong, as I should be focusing in my career. From now on, I would focus in my career, just don't wish that at the end I am said that I don't spend enough time with YOU. I am trying to balance up my time, but NO COMPANION is needed, so lesser SMS is required.

Sad sad sad~~~ :'(

Helplessly~~~

Here I am again to blog. Thought that after I have a relationship I can start to write happy blogs but I am here now to write about sad ones. If you are not ready to read sad stories, maybe you are sad too, please do not further reading this blog.

Well, I have been very useless for being a bf to a girl. Useless in the way that I am not able to fulfill her requirements. The biggest thing I am not able to fulfill is being there with her when she needs me, or maybe need someone. I don't fed up with her for not understanding my situations, like, my parents give me limited freedom, my car is too small and old and my dad don't allow me to go alone, the journey is far and dangerous, all that, its ok if she don't understand, I am just fed up with myself cause why can't I gain enough freedom and go find her? Why can't I have the money to get a bigger car which is suitable to go on highways? Why can't I get the trust from my parents that I am able to drive on highway anytime I want. Why? Why? Why?

I am just very useless. We have been quarreling about this problem for a very long time and it just gone worsen as her stress is building up more and more. Looking at her having so much stress and I am here can't do anything but just saying yes when she said "if you can't be here physically to accompany me then just shut up and go away"? Gosh, I do really hate myself very very much. Sigh~~~

When only I can be like some of my friends being able to accompany their gf whenever they want? I wish very much to go find her but I can't, need to ask permission from parents, need to check if my car is ok then only I can go, shit, it just feel SHIT!!!

Went to Seremban today, and had some problem with my car, dad told me, your car is not suitable to be driven on highway much, it really worries me. It means I won't be able to go find my gf as often as I want already. I rushed back to Melaka at 330pm as I am having a meeting at 4pm but then when I reach Melaka and drop my dad and want to go for that meeting, then only I was told that it has been canceled earlier on. If I was told earlier on, then I can go find my gf and maybe the situation now won't be this bad.

I hope there won't be more bad news coming. I am not sure I can heal from continuous hurting anymore or not. So far I have hurt twice. I hope there won't be the third because I am not able to be there for her when she needed someone. Sigh~~~

Hope days will be better.

A Silly Mistake that brings a Huge Consequence

I have been really sad lately. So sad that I lost control of my feelings and emotions and did some stupid silly mistake that is making me suffering right now. It hurts a lot, but I am not able to do anything to overcome this. I hate being this helpless and I hate myself for loosing my thoughts. I should have think twice before I do that. Just when I did something I thought can slightly make the problem better but the worse mistake is missed out.

Never felt this shit anymore. Especially when I heard something that's not what I want. Shit~!!

I hate myself. Why is life have to be this complicated and hard? Why can't I be forgiven? I have been hurt with similar way but then I can forgive but why am I not forgiven when I am just making a mistake which I never mean to do it. People do lost control sometimes. Maybe this is something really serious and can't be forgiven and forgotten.

I hate to be in this situation right now. Wish to turn back the time.

I just wish that this bad thing of me can end very soon and regain my happy life. GOD, help me please. I am really running out of idea what to do to make this problem go away. Is this a test for me? A real and the hardest one?

I hope after this test is passed, there wont be anymore tests for me. Please. I can take it but I am not sure everybody can take it. Please~~~

My Dates

I am blogging again. Haven't blog for quite some time now.

Let me explain something here. Well, my gf's parents don't really let her to have a relationship at the moment as they have high expectation on her in studies. So, no choice, fallen for her so have to accept this part of her too. I don't mind. I really don't.

But then problems start to arise. Not having enough time with her, she can't date in Melaka, and my parents would worry about me very much if I go KL or maybe Serdang to find her. So, I can only manage to go find her once in a very long while.

After the visit on 9th October 2010, the next visit was on 29th and 30th. That time I stayed at my cousin's place. Well, really had a good time with my gf for both the days. Had a lot of fun as we are together all the time.

After that, 20th November 2010, she moved back to Serdang so I drove there to find her. My dad came with bus later on as he was late so can't come with me. That day, something bad happened, my wallet got stolen when I was trying to get into KTM at Serdang KTM Station. Including ATM money, all together I lost RM1k++. Really heartache. That was a nightmare for me. It took some time for me to mentally recover. Lodged a police report with dad then got home around 9pm.

The next time I visit is on 7th December 2010. It was a public holiday. I drove to Serdang with dad to fetch my gf then we all went for KLIMS10, which is KL International Motor Show 2010. Remember the last time I went to this show was with friends. We took bus then took LRT to PWTC. Had a lot of fun on my visit, saw lots of cars, after we have finish looking at the cars, we went to The Mall opposite PWTC for lunch. We had our lunch at Secret Recipe.

Then we went to shop for a while while dad went for some book exhibition. We went to take our car at PWTC and paid RM15 for the parking fee. Damn expensive!!! Then, we head back to Serdang, went to THe Mines for dinner, send her back and dad and I head back home.

Before reaching Melaka, we dropped by at Seremban, Giant, dad bought some plants for grandma which are damn smelly!!!

When we reached Melaka, we went for supper which dad gave the aunty a nickname, in chinese, bian tai de. Cause that auntie love to let my dad wait long long only will serve him.

There goes my day. Nothing special but the moment when I spend with her, it was marvelous. Really really wish I can date her in Melaka as driving at a place I don't know is scary and it was kinda stress. Driving in Melaka, I can close my eyes and can be able to reach my destination.

HAHA!!!

I am in a relationship~!!!

Its been long time since my last blog. I am back here now. Well, this time I bring a good news, I am in a relationship!!!

Well, this girl has made me feel that I have never love a girl so much before and I really felt that she is already a part of my life.

17th September 2010, our first date. We were in Malaka and went to Melaka Mall for Resident Evil 4. Her parents don't actually allow her to have relationship so her brother came along for the movie. We had our lunch at McD before the movie. The time we spent were so short that I immediately miss her after the movie and we went separate ways to get our car.

25th September 2010, our second date. This time, for the first time ever I go to KL. My dad was worry about me so he came along. 715am we start our journey to Seremban, then we took KTM Komuter to Tasik Selatan to change to LRT then change to Monorail at Hang Tuah to go to Bukit Bintang to meet with my girlfriend. My dad, she and I went to a restaurant where the theme is Toilet. We sat on a toilet bowl for our lunch. After lunch, my dad went to where he planned to go then my date starts. We passby Lot 10, Farenhite and we went to Pavillion for shopping. After walking for sometimes then we drop by to have ice cream which we have been talking about it for some time but just don;t have the chance to eat it together. Then we wet back to Sungei Wang and also went to Lowyat. Sweet moments always pass very fast, its time for me to meet up with my dad to go back home. Man, I miss her very much that day when I was on my way back home.

9th October 2010, our third date. Instead of going to KL by KTM with dad, this time I go to KL by bus with sis and mom. When we reach Bukit Jalil, I bought the LRT Ticket to Titiwangsa where my mom and sis went to Masjid Jamek to change line to KLCC. I reach Titiwangsa and met with her. Then we went to Bukit Bintang for McD as breakfast. We both shared a set of big breakfast set. It was really sweet and nice to share a set together. While she study her notes, I was busy taking her picture while talking to her. We sat for quite long at McD. It was really nice looking at my dear's look when she is serious in reading her notes. When lunch time comes, we took monorail to Imbi to go to Time Square for our lunch. We went to Vivo and the food there is marvelous, its tasty, it wonderful. We also spend a lot of time there as she study while I accompany her. Its never bored to be able to accompany the person you love so much to study. Then my mom and sis reach Time Square, brought her to meet up with mom and sis then we continue our date until 6pm, I sent her back to Titiwangsa and took LRT back to Bukit Jalil to meet up with my mom and sis for 8pm bus.

There goes my dates, and I am really looking forward for more dates!!!

What a new experience for me that I am happy with and I love it very much.

3rd May 2010. 120am, I have my first final exam paper at 230pm, so I studies till late night. The night was so hot that I started sweating right after I came out from bathroom after shower. I took my shower early. Then I start to study. As usual, I wil sit in front of my room's window to study. When I almost finish study, suddenly the air from window felt so cooling. Then I realize it already 1am in the morning. When I went out of my room, the house is cooling, filled with the cold win blowing. Nice~~~

Well, I am off to bed now.

All the best and good luck for my exam, as well as my friends!!! :)

Adam Lambert - Time for Miracles

I am in love with this song lately, ever since I watched 2012 in cinema during CNY.