Have not BLOG for some time now...

Here I am blogging again.

Well, this time, I am sad, I just don't know where to put what's in my heart.

There goes the story, WE started with nothing, then WE slowly build OUR things up. From zero then there comes the TURTLES, RINGS, 3D PUZZLES, CUP, FB STATUS, and all time SMS. After a year, slowly, everything is reducing. I have got back the ring, the turtles that is suppose to be on my handphone is now in my car, which isn't something bad. I am having the cup back as no place to keep, the puzzles, I am having the couple puzzles with me already now, still, the LOVE LETTER and BOOKMARK is kept in there nicely.

Some more, the FB status is not there anymore, and even now lesser SMS is requested. Seem like this ONE YEAR has bring a huge difference and effects. What I can say is that I am not good in maintaining.

As days goes by, things I do it my way will be the wrong way. Things I think should be worrying about is something that shows I am a very immature person. Well, I am immature, that might be true, but I am not really that bad, at least I could live for 24 years.

At the end, I am just sad about the growing of US, its making me worry now. I wish I could improve something here about US. But whatever I do is just not helping. Whatever I think of doing for YOU is wrong, as I should be focusing in my career. From now on, I would focus in my career, just don't wish that at the end I am said that I don't spend enough time with YOU. I am trying to balance up my time, but NO COMPANION is needed, so lesser SMS is required.

Sad sad sad~~~ :'(

Helplessly~~~

Here I am again to blog. Thought that after I have a relationship I can start to write happy blogs but I am here now to write about sad ones. If you are not ready to read sad stories, maybe you are sad too, please do not further reading this blog.

Well, I have been very useless for being a bf to a girl. Useless in the way that I am not able to fulfill her requirements. The biggest thing I am not able to fulfill is being there with her when she needs me, or maybe need someone. I don't fed up with her for not understanding my situations, like, my parents give me limited freedom, my car is too small and old and my dad don't allow me to go alone, the journey is far and dangerous, all that, its ok if she don't understand, I am just fed up with myself cause why can't I gain enough freedom and go find her? Why can't I have the money to get a bigger car which is suitable to go on highways? Why can't I get the trust from my parents that I am able to drive on highway anytime I want. Why? Why? Why?

I am just very useless. We have been quarreling about this problem for a very long time and it just gone worsen as her stress is building up more and more. Looking at her having so much stress and I am here can't do anything but just saying yes when she said "if you can't be here physically to accompany me then just shut up and go away"? Gosh, I do really hate myself very very much. Sigh~~~

When only I can be like some of my friends being able to accompany their gf whenever they want? I wish very much to go find her but I can't, need to ask permission from parents, need to check if my car is ok then only I can go, shit, it just feel SHIT!!!

Went to Seremban today, and had some problem with my car, dad told me, your car is not suitable to be driven on highway much, it really worries me. It means I won't be able to go find my gf as often as I want already. I rushed back to Melaka at 330pm as I am having a meeting at 4pm but then when I reach Melaka and drop my dad and want to go for that meeting, then only I was told that it has been canceled earlier on. If I was told earlier on, then I can go find my gf and maybe the situation now won't be this bad.

I hope there won't be more bad news coming. I am not sure I can heal from continuous hurting anymore or not. So far I have hurt twice. I hope there won't be the third because I am not able to be there for her when she needed someone. Sigh~~~

Hope days will be better.

A Silly Mistake that brings a Huge Consequence

I have been really sad lately. So sad that I lost control of my feelings and emotions and did some stupid silly mistake that is making me suffering right now. It hurts a lot, but I am not able to do anything to overcome this. I hate being this helpless and I hate myself for loosing my thoughts. I should have think twice before I do that. Just when I did something I thought can slightly make the problem better but the worse mistake is missed out.

Never felt this shit anymore. Especially when I heard something that's not what I want. Shit~!!

I hate myself. Why is life have to be this complicated and hard? Why can't I be forgiven? I have been hurt with similar way but then I can forgive but why am I not forgiven when I am just making a mistake which I never mean to do it. People do lost control sometimes. Maybe this is something really serious and can't be forgiven and forgotten.

I hate to be in this situation right now. Wish to turn back the time.

I just wish that this bad thing of me can end very soon and regain my happy life. GOD, help me please. I am really running out of idea what to do to make this problem go away. Is this a test for me? A real and the hardest one?

I hope after this test is passed, there wont be anymore tests for me. Please. I can take it but I am not sure everybody can take it. Please~~~

My Dates

I am blogging again. Haven't blog for quite some time now.

Let me explain something here. Well, my gf's parents don't really let her to have a relationship at the moment as they have high expectation on her in studies. So, no choice, fallen for her so have to accept this part of her too. I don't mind. I really don't.

But then problems start to arise. Not having enough time with her, she can't date in Melaka, and my parents would worry about me very much if I go KL or maybe Serdang to find her. So, I can only manage to go find her once in a very long while.

After the visit on 9th October 2010, the next visit was on 29th and 30th. That time I stayed at my cousin's place. Well, really had a good time with my gf for both the days. Had a lot of fun as we are together all the time.

After that, 20th November 2010, she moved back to Serdang so I drove there to find her. My dad came with bus later on as he was late so can't come with me. That day, something bad happened, my wallet got stolen when I was trying to get into KTM at Serdang KTM Station. Including ATM money, all together I lost RM1k++. Really heartache. That was a nightmare for me. It took some time for me to mentally recover. Lodged a police report with dad then got home around 9pm.

The next time I visit is on 7th December 2010. It was a public holiday. I drove to Serdang with dad to fetch my gf then we all went for KLIMS10, which is KL International Motor Show 2010. Remember the last time I went to this show was with friends. We took bus then took LRT to PWTC. Had a lot of fun on my visit, saw lots of cars, after we have finish looking at the cars, we went to The Mall opposite PWTC for lunch. We had our lunch at Secret Recipe.

Then we went to shop for a while while dad went for some book exhibition. We went to take our car at PWTC and paid RM15 for the parking fee. Damn expensive!!! Then, we head back to Serdang, went to THe Mines for dinner, send her back and dad and I head back home.

Before reaching Melaka, we dropped by at Seremban, Giant, dad bought some plants for grandma which are damn smelly!!!

When we reached Melaka, we went for supper which dad gave the aunty a nickname, in chinese, bian tai de. Cause that auntie love to let my dad wait long long only will serve him.

There goes my day. Nothing special but the moment when I spend with her, it was marvelous. Really really wish I can date her in Melaka as driving at a place I don't know is scary and it was kinda stress. Driving in Melaka, I can close my eyes and can be able to reach my destination.

HAHA!!!

I am in a relationship~!!!

Its been long time since my last blog. I am back here now. Well, this time I bring a good news, I am in a relationship!!!

Well, this girl has made me feel that I have never love a girl so much before and I really felt that she is already a part of my life.

17th September 2010, our first date. We were in Malaka and went to Melaka Mall for Resident Evil 4. Her parents don't actually allow her to have relationship so her brother came along for the movie. We had our lunch at McD before the movie. The time we spent were so short that I immediately miss her after the movie and we went separate ways to get our car.

25th September 2010, our second date. This time, for the first time ever I go to KL. My dad was worry about me so he came along. 715am we start our journey to Seremban, then we took KTM Komuter to Tasik Selatan to change to LRT then change to Monorail at Hang Tuah to go to Bukit Bintang to meet with my girlfriend. My dad, she and I went to a restaurant where the theme is Toilet. We sat on a toilet bowl for our lunch. After lunch, my dad went to where he planned to go then my date starts. We passby Lot 10, Farenhite and we went to Pavillion for shopping. After walking for sometimes then we drop by to have ice cream which we have been talking about it for some time but just don;t have the chance to eat it together. Then we wet back to Sungei Wang and also went to Lowyat. Sweet moments always pass very fast, its time for me to meet up with my dad to go back home. Man, I miss her very much that day when I was on my way back home.

9th October 2010, our third date. Instead of going to KL by KTM with dad, this time I go to KL by bus with sis and mom. When we reach Bukit Jalil, I bought the LRT Ticket to Titiwangsa where my mom and sis went to Masjid Jamek to change line to KLCC. I reach Titiwangsa and met with her. Then we went to Bukit Bintang for McD as breakfast. We both shared a set of big breakfast set. It was really sweet and nice to share a set together. While she study her notes, I was busy taking her picture while talking to her. We sat for quite long at McD. It was really nice looking at my dear's look when she is serious in reading her notes. When lunch time comes, we took monorail to Imbi to go to Time Square for our lunch. We went to Vivo and the food there is marvelous, its tasty, it wonderful. We also spend a lot of time there as she study while I accompany her. Its never bored to be able to accompany the person you love so much to study. Then my mom and sis reach Time Square, brought her to meet up with mom and sis then we continue our date until 6pm, I sent her back to Titiwangsa and took LRT back to Bukit Jalil to meet up with my mom and sis for 8pm bus.

There goes my dates, and I am really looking forward for more dates!!!

What a new experience for me that I am happy with and I love it very much.

3rd May 2010. 120am, I have my first final exam paper at 230pm, so I studies till late night. The night was so hot that I started sweating right after I came out from bathroom after shower. I took my shower early. Then I start to study. As usual, I wil sit in front of my room's window to study. When I almost finish study, suddenly the air from window felt so cooling. Then I realize it already 1am in the morning. When I went out of my room, the house is cooling, filled with the cold win blowing. Nice~~~

Well, I am off to bed now.

All the best and good luck for my exam, as well as my friends!!! :)

Adam Lambert - Time for Miracles

I am in love with this song lately, ever since I watched 2012 in cinema during CNY.

What the hell is wrong???

Today, 3rd of April 2010. When I was driving and when I was listening to One FM suddenly I heard this case. There was this guy, I don't know how he told the DJ but this is the case. This guy have a girlfriend, this girlfriend asked him to work in KL, he was working in Muar previously, then after some time he decided to go KL to woro for the sake of his girlfriend. Few months later, this girlfriend told this guy that he is pregnant and the child does not belongs to him and she is getting married. That guy was really really pitiful. After sacrifice his job in Muar and came all the way to KL to meet up with his gf and this happens. What a sad sad case.

Another thing was from a video clip I saw on facebook. I think that is an entertainment show called "The Moment of Truth". Before the questioning starts, that host asked the girl and the guy "did you enjoy your honeymoon??" Of course both said YES. Let me explain how this game works. The girl is sitting on a seat where there is a system that will detect whether this girl is saying the truth or not. Her husband and other family members were sitting beside on sofa.

Then, this game starts.

Question 14: Do you believe that you might have been in love with a former boyfriend of yours on your wedding day??

When she was thinking of her answer, her husband was shaking his head and said NO.

After struggling a while then she answer "Yes, I believe I was". Then the machine answers "That answer is TRUE". Then the crowd was like "ooowh!!!"

After this question is done, the host said "this is 100k dollar of moment of truth and it wont b asked by me". Then the door opened and a guy walked out. It appears that he is her ex-boyfriend. So, he is going to ask her the next question.

Question 15: If I told you I want to get together with you, will you leave your husband??

Well, in this game, there is a button where either the husband or the family members can press it so that this girl don't have to answer it. The host told that husband but that husband refuse to press it. That button can only be pressed once. All of a sudden, one of her family member pressed and said nobody would want to listen to the answer. Then the crowd starts to BOO that girl who pressed the button.

I don't how why but I think that button should only be pressed by the husband. Again, question 15 was asked. This time........

Question 15: Do you think that I am the man that you are suppose to marry to??

Again the crowd went "ooowh~~~".

After struggling for not very long time, she said YES. The machine said YES too. After hearing what the machine said, that husband looks like he almost cried out.

Question 16: Since you have been married have you ever had sex with guy other than your husband?

Without doubting, she said YES. And the machine verify that her answer is true. That husband really really going to get insane. I think after this they will divorce.

Question 17: Do you think tyou are a good person?

She said yes and the machine verify that her answer is wrong!!

The game ends at here cause she is not telling the truth.

Man!! After telling all those truth but end up with nothing?? How pathetic. I wonder why these two girls would do such thing. I though girls are more conservative, but I guess I am wrong. I should go out and meet more people and know more things that might happen.

How scary, guys, you would never know what your girlfriend does. Sigh~~~

What is wrong??

What is wrong?? What is wrong with us?? What have I done that you are so not happy with me about?? I tried, I tried not to do things that you dislike but still it never makes you happy. What do you want from me actually?? I really really don't know!!!

I am kinda piss off now, not with you but with myself. Why can't I make you happy??

Yeah, maybe someone can comfort you better. Since I am not any better I think its best that I just leave. No point for me being here and argue about a problem which I had already forgot what it is about anymore. Its been drag too long now.

Tonight I think I have reach my own limit. We were just happy chatting just now and now suddenly it got so bad.

Am I really that bad in understanding people around me??

DEAR HELP!!! :'( :'( :'(

Two Continuous Weeks of...

Long time didn't blog liao, wanted to blog many many times but always end up busy and no time. Finally have time now, not because I really do but just me being lazy to do what I have to do.

Well, let me tell you about my two special weeks. First week, a friend's girlfriend contacted me via Facebook, she wanted to have a surprise birthday party for my friend who told her that he never had a birthday celebration when he is in Melaka. Then she came up with this idea to surprise him. I asked and looked for few friends, classmates suit our relationship better, they all agreed while at the same time celebrating for another friend. That day, Saturday 18th Mac 2010, we had class at 8am till 12pm but that class ended at about 10am so we went to another class which started on 9am till 12pm. After that class three of us (including that guy who is going to have his surprise) went to TC Spring for lunch, after that we all went home and get a good sleep. She booked the place at 7pm but then some people was late so I went to delay till 730pm. Before that Boy came, most of us already reach, when he reached and he got surprised. Long story, no mood to continue anymore now, what I wanted to share here is the food at Wok and Pan. The first one is called Cordon Bleu which is chicken stuffed with ham and cheese. It tastes nice, not bad. Then the marvelous cake came, the cake has a lot of layers, cheese and strawberry, really really nice!!! But I forgot to take picture of the cake. :'(




After that dinner, some went Pur Bar, those who were not going went for pool. My oh my, my pool SUCKS!!! I want to improve it someday. :)

For second surprise party. We had a party on Saturday then on Monday, another friend's sister called me up to tell me about her plan. I tried to ask as many friends as possible but then end up only two person (including me) went. Her sister did call some more friends, even our lecturer (my friend's adviser) came. Around 12 of us including my friend and her boyfriend went to Windmill at Melaka Raya. I guess my friend really got surprised when she saw us. A lot of foods' picture were uploaded in Facebook but I only have one picture which is the food I ordered, Chicken and Fish on the same plate.


After that dinner I went for a friends open house. For both Saturday, I was busy, hardly get such busy weekends filled with friends around me.

Love it~!!! :)

Am I Alright??

These few days I have been feeling really really tired. During the day I am like a zombie who sleeps a lot, then at night I can fall asleep. Is this a symptom of insomnia? Man, I really don't wish there is any problem to my body then I just died in my sleep. I still have things that I want to try out and things I want to do before I die~~~

Gosh, maybe the weather is the cause or maybe its a sign from God that I should take better care of my own body. I used to be 108kg or 109kg, but just now it showed I was 102.5kg. But I still feel fat, my pants has not gotten bigger. Hmmm, maybe the muscles that I have been building so far has now becoming fats. Last time I would go to shop and help out, carry heavy stuffs, walk for a distance to deliver that heavy goods, its an exercise and at the same time can build muscles, but since I have not been to help out in shop for a very long time, I think my muscles are gone.

Sigh~~~ when I have time, I should work out more. Where got a girl prefer a fat guy right??

Sigh~~~

Sigh~~~

Sigh~~~

My Busy Week

Although I am having my one week midterm break but I am busy like HELL!!! :(

i) Communication Electronics Project, although my friends said they can do it but still I want to involve in doing all these

ii) Embedded System Design Project, we thought we have everything from pass year about this project but end up we got nothing. So we need to go and find something and do it as our project which is very very hard cause we know nothing about it

iii) Comm E lab report, I am stuck at step2 cause I think we didn't complete it while we were in the lab, and now we can do nothing about it

iv) Digital Signal Processing lab report, it is the hardest report I have done so far, need to know programming in MATLAB then need to see the waveform for each filter to compare which filter is the best, the problem is how???

v) Engineer & Society assignment, have not started doing it yet, we have not even plan what to do yet

vi) Digital Signal Processing assignment, have not even look at the question yet!! But I heard its a hard one

So many things that need to be done in one week?? After break we have midterm test coming on our way, and it covers a lot stuff that is tough and complicated especially when it involves circuitry calculation and derivations.

Man!!! I am doomed~~~ 24hours a day?? Not enough, seriously not enough!!! :'(

Edward Scissorhands

Edward Scissorhands is a movie made in 1990. The main actor is acted by Johnny Depp, I found out that he always bring life to the character he acts. I like the action in Pirates of Caribbean 1 cause I love the way he made the character has its own style. He made well for Edward as well.






After watching the movie only I found out that it about the love story of Edward and Kim. I watched it once when I was young and finally I get to own the DVD and watch it as many times as I want to. Its a nice movie. :)

Finally, I have made the hardest decision. The most cruel and mean decision. I've just told C that I would prefer if she can get a new bf. Well, this might make her hate me from the bottom of her heart. But I really hope it wont. There goes one of my problems, my conclusion is that she really cares cause I always have this idea "when someone cares then he/she will always be there to argue or quarrel with you, someone who don't give a damn doing so is that someone who do not care about you". I am not sure how far this is true but I hope I am not making an enemy.

Well, as for V, I hope she will be busy with her stuff till she forgets about me or even she gets a new bf cause I will never never have a relationship with her.

I am not trying to show off here, but this is my blog so I wish to share my problem here. I am not handsome nor clever and most of all I am not rich but still I am now giving two priceless chances away of having a gf.

Hopefully God wont make me pay for it. :)

Thank God.

I am sorry, truly sorry.

Walking Zombie

Walking Zombie, yeah, I am the walking zombie. I reached campus at around 4pm today, went to library to study with my friends which we all end up chating, as usual. I was still normal although I am kinda sick inside. At around 6pm suddenly my stomach got weird and I felt hungry (I have been having problem with my stomach this few days) then I ask my friend to go for dinner together. I took a soup Mee Hoon Kueh and a cup of 100 plus as the doctor said I can do that as to recover the salt that I have lose due to diarrhea. After the meal then my stomach starts to get really sick, after the first time went to toilet I took my medication hoping that it will stop but too bad it doesn't. It came for second time and after that I really really lose my strength, can't even stand properly. Even walking also looks like a walking zombie. My friend saw me and told me I looked pale. Weather was so hot and it makes me sweat like I just had my shower. Then this friend gave me a piece of tissue, it was really nice, kinda touched. :)

Right before the test I was like a handphone with low batt, during the test, when I read the first question and I gave up and did the second question first. After I am done with the second question then I used a lot of time to think about the first. Suddenly, from no where I thought of a way to solve it, just when I thought about it, I over heard my tutor explain to my friend. Then slowly I manage to finish up the question. My friend beside was asking me question, I can't hear what he was saying but later on I kinda catch what he was asking, I tried to explain to him but, usually when you are trying to cheat, you will feel like the lecturer keep looking at you and you might also think that he knows that you are cheating, so I tried my best to explain when the lecturer turned around.

Finally, "ok, times up, the last person in each row, please stand up and collect the papers". Well, I was the last person so its my job to collect.

After the test, I felt my energy came back. I can even race with some people on my way back which frightened me. The driver in front of my made me misunderstand that he want to race, but then he brakes alot early than I do and I nearly "kiss" his "ass". Luckily my brake pads are new. After that I just leave that guy behind and race home.

After my shower, again, I become zombie. So, zombie is blogging. :)

Beaten!!!

I though I have been alright to enjoy my CNY, but now, I am done. I have fallen ill!!! :(

First day was having fever, felt so hot so I turn on the fan but my hands and legs got cold but can't turn the fan off cause will sweat. The next morning went to see doctor, after taking my temperature, I was not having any fever. But now, stomach giving me problems. No appetite to eat, and fell no strength. Keep on going to toilet. Damn, even during the midnight also I can't sleep tight cause keep going to toilet.

Pity me. :(

Get well soon Chen, get well soon.

Hope can do well for my test tomorrow and recover by tonight.

Again...

Again, I have to face my problems. This time has two. :'(

Although I love the song Two is Better Than One doesn't mean I want to have two problems coming at the same time!!! :(

Sakura House, Yatai!!!

19th Feb 2010. 6pm at Sakura House which is located at Duyong. That place sell reasonable price Japanese food.







All of these only cost Rm54. You can't get it at any other place with this price. :)

Having dinner with my dear "Aunty" and get to meet with such cute, friendly, funny and handsome kid at the same time, my dinner is never better. In fact, its almost perfect!! :)

Well, I miss that kid so much now. I think I am in love with that kid. Whenever I see kid then I will think of the kid I met, when I think of the kid I met, it reminds of the "Aunty" incident. I will smile whenever I think about it. What a funny incident I've met so far. The best part was that the kid was wiling to follow us back back, he even said Bye Bye to his mom. Awwhh~~ how sweet~~~ :)

The best part of that kid is that he knocked his head on the wall when he came in, within half an hour, he knocked for the second time, this time, he turned around and beat the well. Hahaha!!! Kawaiiii !!!

Guess its time for me to make a kid for my own. I really miss him very much. :(

When can I see you again kid?? I should have keep his parents contact detail that time... :(

What a waste~~~

Forth and Fifth Day of CNY

Hmmm, the forth day of CNY, I woke up at about 10am, just when I started to blog and facebook then I got a text from my friend, L, saying that he want to go visiting. I told him 1130am but I couldn't make it so change to 12pm. I went to L's house and fetch him to another friend's house, H's house, while waiting for another friend, S, to arrive. When that friend arrived, four of us went to J's house. we spent some times at J's house then T's gf called J at his house then we all, the five of us, J, H, L, S and me waited for T and his gf to arrive. J's younger brother has gone tall and has grown up well but J is still the old J that we all used to know, full with his jokes and action, its always funny to hang around with J. But we hardly hang out cause we are now all separated, some working, some studying at different place, even studying in same university still we hardly hang out as we have our own bunch of friends.

After J's house we went to L's house, which I had already went earlier. J's asked us to go L's house while he took a shower, we were asked to wait for him. While waiting for him, we contacted Z who is on his way back home from Muar. When Z is reaching home, we decided to go to his house, when we came out from L's house then only J arrive. We waited him for about 20 minutes to 30 minutes. After L's house, we all went to W's house. Spent some time there talking then finally we move again. We went to Z's house first then only to S's house. My oh my!!! The cheese cake that S made was marvelous!!! Its really nice. At least the cheese suits my flavor, the cheese taste wasn't too strong or too mild, just nice.

They planned to go massage, S and L, but J wanted to follow so they postponed to fifth day of CNY. After S's house we all went home. J and W got a dinner which everyone from "Zhong Bu" will be. Although I do know some Zhong Bu people but since I don't drink or really hang out with them closely so I spent my night at home, I even missed the chance to gather with everyone at Pure Bar. :(

Fifth day of CNY, holidays end~~~ :'( Today, 5pm I have a lecture to attend. But before that I have to go visit my ex's house. So I went to get some "Bak Gua" then went to her house at around 4pm. I used to be afraid of her mom but I seemed to get used to it. Her mom isn't very fierce actually, its just that the way the communicate is different from my family, I took years to get myself used to it. But this time is different, her dad was at her house too. But her dad didn't say anything when I went. I was there watching the Hong Kong drama. My timing was just nice, I had reason to leave so that I don't have to sit for too long and I was kinda shy to be there with her family as I am just nobody.

When I was leaving for class, she gave some Chinese Orange. Well, it was another good timing cause my malay friend is asking for Limau. Since I got some from her so I just share some of my Limau with my malay friend. After the class I had dinner with my family and now I am here to write whatever happen yesterday and today.

There goes my CNY, wonder is there anything else more to happen. =)